What does Christmas mean to you? Whether your vacation days are for celebrating the season, or convenient statutory holidays that don’t match your religious affiliations, you have associations with the holiday season.
You might have positive or negative associations with family events, parties, working long hours, or days off. You could have expectations of overspending and looming bills, or anticipate a shower of gifts. To discover the influence of your subconscious on your ability to feel joy in the holiday season, consider the emotions you experienced at Christmas when you were a young child. What was Christmas like for you at age 5? Age 8? Age 15?
Your subconscious operates by recreating patterns of emotions. It can be challenging to identify the influence of patterns, because it’s easier to see the situation, rather than the emotional dynamic. A five year old might be bursting with excitement and frustration as they wait for their parents to wake up on Christmas morning. An adult might organize a gift exchange with a loved one a few days late because of a work schedule. One is the child subject to the parent’s indulgence; the other is an adult’s practicality.
The practical adult seems very different than the impatient child. That’s because adults who have learned to be practical squash their emotions, and are unlikely to admit they’re frustrated that a work schedule interferes with their holiday fun. Even if they realize they would prefer to have their presents Christmas Day, they’re likely to suppress the reaction because they ‘know better.’ That makes it harder to realize that you have exactly the same set of emotions occurring: frustration, excitement, and having to wait for an expected pleasure.
It’s even harder to realize that the influence of these childhood patterns will manifest the situation that requires you to wait.
Try another example. Imagine the emotions of a child who grew up dreading the effects of alcohol in their household; Christmas might be a particularly hard time. What did the child feel if the drunken parent became abusive? As an adult, those patterns play out even if the situation is totally different. The adult may be a teetotaler, and find their children afraid because of a bully at school. (The child has their own reasons for the existence of the bully.)
What emotions did the child of an alcoholic feel if their parent was a happy but irresponsible drunk, certain to disappoint in the Santa role? That child was accustomed to mixed hope and dread, followed by disappointment. The pattern could manifest in romances that start out looking wonderful, and end in a mess. The situation may be totally different; it is the set of emotions that is recreated.
Negative associations from childhood interfere with your ability to have a fabulous holiday. You can give yourself the gift of removing associations, to allow more joy in your Joyeux Noël.
Here are 2 options for tapping your capacity for holiday fun. You can use the Unlock meditation, from the Living Your Light CD or you can use an Intention Ball of Light:
Sit quietly and focus on your breath. Imagine forming a solid ball of bright white light spinning through you and around you. Imagine you can use your intention to focus the light to tune your body and your energy. You can use these intentions, or form your own:
I am safe having a fabulous holiday.
I am safe having a new, joyful experience of Christmas.
Allow the light to spin through you until you feel done. Allow the light to spin a little longer for detox, to release anything that needs to go. Release the light. This type of meditation is most effective done for only a minute at a time.